The things divorcing people say…

The following is a compilation of threatening remarks made by people going through divorce. Over the years, I have heard similar comments. I’m providing this list to you in hopes that if you read it in advance, it will prepare you for the challenging times ahead.

Some remarks made to intimidate you may include the following:

· “I am going to drag this case out forever. By the time you get your share of
the property, you’ll be too old to enjoy it.”

· “If you persist in your economic demands, I am going to file a custody action
and take the children away from you.”

· “I’ve got the best lawyer in town. He’s going to kill you and your lawyer.”

· “My lawyer is mean. He’s going to make your life miserable.”

· “Your lawyer is a crook. His only interest is to drag out the case in order to
make more money.”

· “You’ve gotten yourself the most expensive lawyer around. The two lawyers
are going to eat up all of the assets that we acquired during our marriage.”

· “My lawyer knows all of the judges. There’s no way you are going to get a
decent result in court.”

· “I was ready to give you a fair settlement. Now that you got a lawyer, I am
going to play hard ball and you’re going to end up with much less than I was
willing to give you.”

· “Your lawyer is too busy to handle this case.”

· “You can’t trust divorce lawyers. They always work with the lawyer on the
other side and run up unnecessary time to make money.”

· “You’re crazy for pushing this divorce case. All that you are doing is taking
money away from the children.”

· “If you don’t settle on a reasonable basis, I will have to take the children out
of school.”

· “I’m going to tell the children that you are responsible for this mess.”

· “At the rate you and your lawyer are going, I’ll have to declare bankruptcy
and nobody is going to win.”

· “If you don’t settle on my terms, I’m going to drag your girlfriend [or
boyfriend] into this case.”

· “You can’t trust divorce lawyers. They always work with the lawyer on the
other side and run up unnecessary time to make money.”

The above are merely illustrative of what you may hear from time to time from your divorcing spouse. Hopefully, your spouse isn’t the kind who makes such statements. But if you do, please understand that the following is my position:

1. I have over 15 years of experience of dealing with this kind of continued threats and verbal abuse. I am not intimidated and neither should you.

2. If you have any concerns, please discuss them with me.

3. I take pride in my job and I adhere to the strictest of ethical standards. You can always count on my integrity and good faith in representing you.

You too may have made such statements to your divorcing spouse. You have feelings too and it’s ok. But before you do or say anything moving forward, always ask yourself, “will what I’m about to do or say help move me to my end goal, that being either getting a signed separation agreement in hand or any other form of resolution to this nasty chapter in your life?” If the answer is no, then stop. It’s never too late to start advancing towards your end goal.